This is in response to a post I read on tumblr about the difficulties [insert adjective here] people face during the holidays.
Let me start by saying, I have had similar experiences - A LOT - so I'm just going to share what works for me.
Lower Your Expectations
The holiday season is not going to live up to your ideals. So throw them on the yule log and watch them burn. Those pop songs about finding love at the holidays that get stuck in your head are detrimental to your survival. Turn off Britney's "My Only Wish" and have a dance party/karaoke session to Adele's "Rolling in the Deep." {female empowerment, yay!}
Those made for TV movies that summarily resolve every challenge the main character has faced for her entire life AND she ends up basically engaged to the dreamiest man on the planet in 90 minutes or less. Total crap. I love crappy Christmas movies. They are a super duper fun escape from reality. But, they are crap. Lower your expectations.
And be realistic. Advertisements are trying to sell you a desired [and unrealistic] experience that requires their product to create. It's total crap. Use what you've got. Be creative and you'll appreciate it all the more because you will have (1) not spent money on useless crap and (2) gained a sense of accomplishment. If you fail, you've learned something, even if it's what not to do next time.
Prioritize
Figure out what you want this Christmas and learn how to ask for it. And I'm not talking about presents. I'm talking about experiences you want to share with the people you care about. Traditions you want to continue. And traditions you want to pretend never existed.
I love sitting in front of the fire with my mom, sipping on peppermint cocoa, eating popcorn, and watching a CLASSIC Christmas movie like "It's a Wonderful Life," "Miracle on 34th Street," or "Bundle of Joy." And if we want to do that again this year we have to make a plan, set a date, and commit to it. Or else it won't happen because the holidays are so busy that it'll be January before we realize it's gone. Prioritize.
Give Thanks
Take inventory of your life and be thankful for the goodness in it. Family. Friends. Hobbies you enjoy. Places you love to be. You have good in your life, it's just hard to see when you're looking at what you lack. Focus on what you have and be thankful for it.
I love to write thank you notes before Christmas. It's a given, as a well-bred young woman, that I will send a (most of the time) prompt thank you note after I have received a gift. But, I enjoy surprising those I'm closest to with a note thanking them for what I truly appreciate in our relationship. Yes, gifts are nice and I won't refuse them, ever! However, thanking someone for the intangibles they give me daily is often overlooked, so I like to recognize those little things that mean the world to me.
Live in the Moment
Take every opportunity to be happy. Unless you have a legitimate reason* for declining, say YES! When you're invited to a party, GO! When your mom wants to take you shopping, GO! (and pay for lunch!) When your friends are going to go watch a parade in downtown Minneapolis and it's freezing because the wind chill is below zero, but you don't own a decent coat and you're intimidated by large cities, but no one else has a car so you'll have to drive for the first time in snow, (True Story!) GO! Memories are made of this. The best experiences seem to always be unexpected.
*Legitimate Reasons include, but are not limited to, the activity is dangerous, immoral, illegal, irresponsible, and or stupid.
If All Else Fails, FAKE It Until You MAKE It
I often feel, especially this time of year, alone and misunderstood. And I don't want to go out and socialize. I just want to sit in my bedroom and be alone. Content in my misery. In that scenario, I always regret it. Now, it's a different story if I've been hassled at work ALL day and just need some "me" time. But, when I'm choosing to be unhappy, that's on me and I always regret it.
Fake it until you make it. Pretend to be happy and you might find yourself enjoying whatever seemingly ridiculous activity you've agreed to participate in. You have something to offer. Now get out of your own way and show the world. Shine!
In the End, It's Not About You Anyway
Christmas is about celebrating Jesus' birth. It's about family and friends and sharing love. It can be about giving gifts, eating cookies, and decorating trees if you want. It's up to you. You can take whatever comes along with a good attitude and make the best of it. Or you can hide in a burrow like a groundhog until February. You choose what your Christmas will be this year.
I hope that helps.
- Charity
No comments:
Post a Comment