I'm Not That Girl • Lyrics

'm not that girl.
Hands touch, eyes meet. Sudden silence, sudden heat.
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl, He could be that boy...
But I'm not that girl.

Don't dream too far.  Don't lose sight of who you are.  
Don't remember that rush of joy.
He could be that boy... I'm not that girl.

Every so often we long to steal to the land of what-might-have-been.
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel when reality sets back in.

Blithe smile, lithe limb, she's winsome, she wins him.
Gold hair with a gentle curl, that's the girl he chose.
And heaven knows... I'm not that girl.

Don't wish.  Don't start. Wishing only wounds the heart.
I wasn't born for the rose and pearl.

There's a girl I know... He loves her so...

I'm not that girl....

Mature Enough • Reflection

"Being nice to someone you dislike doesn't mean you're a fake.  

It means you are mature enough to tolerate your dislike towards them."

I don't feel mature.  And I have a difficult time being kind to people who have wronged me.  I want to forgive, I want to love them, or at least treat them with the respect that they have refused me.  It is so hard.  But, I muddle through.

I somehow manage to put on a sincere and pleasant expression; to handle myself with grace and poise; and to convince those around me that I find them more than tolerable, even that I actually like them.  It sounds prissy the way I describe it here, but in reality it is an act of God allowing me to show grace and mercy to those who frequently hurt me.  And it is my mother and grandmother's voices in my head reminding me to be ladylike and gentle.  

Ladylike and gentle. 

It seems impossible that I be considered by anyone to be ladylike.  

Certainly never gentle.  

And yet, I soldier on.  Striving to treat those around me with respect and dignity, though I would much rather not be around them at all.  I cannot hide from them, everyone I encounter has mistreated someone and likely will one day mistreat me.  Just as I often give in to my sin nature and mistreat them.  

So I choose to forgive and attempt to be a lady.  To treat others well.  To lead by example, if I can.  And to fight injustice with strength and grace, poised for battle with gentle hands.  Kill them with kindness, God will handle the rest.